Never Good Enough

Nov 2, 2019

I was talking to some students last night about a few things.

One of those things was the feeling of never being good enough.

And I said, "Well, people that are great are usually great because they’re constantly thinking about how to be better." 

Without some nag of “It isn’t good enough”, there is little motivation to get better. 

I’ve always had a love/hate relationship with my own nag of “I am not good enough.”

It has motivated me to do a lot of things, and some days, it hasn’t been useful at all. 

To let that nag be more productive, it was important for me to take my self-worth out of the equation. Because I, and you, as humans, are absolutely good enough.

Be much more specific.

Your math skills aren’t good enough? Okay, great, how can you get better? You don’t like your sound on your instrument? Okay, great, how can you get better? I think it is essential, especially if you want to be great at something, to cultivate a healthy relationship with the awareness that you want to be better.

There’s actually a lot of value in understanding that you aren’t good enough at something specific.

It means there’s opportunity for growth, and you’re aware enough to know there needs to be improvement. Opportunity for growth isn’t a negative - it’s a positive. And honestly, as a musician, I already know there will never be a day I think I am good enough. But that’s actually what keeps me going. 

Never good enough can transform into an optimistic view of things if you just rephrase it: I am always looking for ways to be better. Warning: some days it will be essential to realize that you don’t have time or space to be better, but you’ll need to gracefully meet yourself wherever you are. 

I would like to point out an important distinction: understanding you want to be better at something is not the same as thinking you can’t be better at something. Don’t confuse the two.

♡